Bokeh photo because this entry is very ma-drama! This is the view from our kitchen, btw.
When 2011 started, I thought it was going to be full of surprises. Looking back, 2011 was the year of getting off your lazy ass and making things happen.
Ever since I graduated college, I dreamed of going to a different country to study art. 3 years after, it actually happened! I won’t go to the bloody “behind-the-scenes” of that dream but the important thing is, I did it!
There were big changes and lots of sacrifices but the whole year was more like nice and easy. It’s like the universe/almighty was telling me: “there will be A LOT of changes and sacrifices but I won’t let you go further than that. The rest of the year would be nice and easy for you so you won’t get too overwhelmed, child.” And yeah, I sort of imagined universe with the face of Ned Stark there. Anyway, thank God it was exactly like that. If it didn’t, well, I don’t want to know.
Sure when I moved to a different country, school wasn’t only my priority. I also thought I’d get a job but that thing didn’t happen to me. Yet. That right there was (and still is!) the most frustrating part of 2011. I went through rejection after rejection after rejection—as if I didn’t get a LOT of rejections before but yeah it turned out the universe just enjoyed the idea of giving me a lot of those and in different forms, I have to say. Thank you, universe. Not.
Being alone in a different country also sucks. I actually expected that part but it’s way worse when you’re face-to-face with it. 2011 taught me the meaning of inner strength. When everything’s down and hope is the only thing you hold on to, that’s inner strength. When I picture the face of 2011 teaching me that it’s a wise Kung Fu master with Ned Stark’s face. Yep, perfect.
Living alone is difficult and getting a lot of rejections made things worse but, I survived. I don’t know how but I think it’s because of the TV shows and animated films that I watched and new friends that I met and old friends that I don’t get to hang out much in Manila but bonded with here in SG. Oh yeah, it’s also because of the things you look forward to and the things you learn. Mostly the latter. 2011 is the year of learning to be independent. Learning that being alone is not the same as being lonely. Learning to feel blessed and happy with the not-so-good things that you have. Like: I don’t have a job right now but it’s fine because I don’t have to deal with waking up early and office stress like you bitches! Take that! I learned to look at the brighter side of things even though it made me feel like crap.
Wait, I thought I said 2011 was nice and easy? Now it just seems bad. Um, LOL?
Maybe the way I made a bad thing into something I could learn from was the one that made it bearable. I mean, something worse could’ve happened and thank God it didn’t. There were also a lot of moments when it felt like things were actually meant-to-be. Being where I am right now went through a lot of hard work but in the end it seemed like it was given to me on a silver platter. Thinking about it now just feels amazing. Thank you.
Thank God I have understanding and very supportive parents, grandparents and ninong (financial support and everything else, oh yeah! Thank you so much guys!) and they didn’t stop me from doing what I wanted to do. That was the greatest blessing that I have received in the past year. Boy, am I lucky to have them, huh? All these blessings? Wow.
I just hope that this new year would be much better so that I could be the blessing to them in return. Yes. I think that would be the ultimate goal for the new year. Now, let’s make it happen.
(Original post here)
